What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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