Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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