CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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