So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
