You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
