why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
