Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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