I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
should my penis look like a turkey
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
