I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
