Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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