Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
