I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
