i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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