M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I want is dick and wine.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
