you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
