I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize