Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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