they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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