why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
