i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
