Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
