yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize