Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize