I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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