If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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