So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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