mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize