Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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