I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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