did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
