I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
