You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
