Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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