For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
