Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
