If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
