I could have mohawked her pubes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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