Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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