I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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