Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
