but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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