that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
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Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
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I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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