does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You're like the curious george of whores
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
