is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
