covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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