is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
