So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
