I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize