Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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