that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Houston, we have a squirter
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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