Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize