My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
