You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize