Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
