He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
