apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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