positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
