It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
