Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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