Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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