I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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