Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
